Animal Stories

Leaf-by-Leaf Interview long sleeve: a panda in a koala disguise holding onto a eucalyptus tree
Koala Gifts That Aren't Just a Cuddly Koala
Koala merchandise is overwhelmingly soft-toy territory. What to buy someone who likes the actual animal, which sleeps 22 hours a day for reasons that are not cute. Read more...
The Night Tourist panda sticker on a laptop beside the trackpad
Gifts for People Who Work From Home
The remote worker already owns the desk gadgets. What they are short of is anything on the wall worth looking at — plus two small things that show up on... Read more...
Gills Before Bills hoodie folded, showing a panda in an axolotl disguise rowing through lantern-lit water
Octopus Gifts for People Who Are Serious About Octopuses
Octopus people are not casual about it. What to avoid, and gifts that respect the animal instead of making it cute. Read more...
The Night Tourist die-cut sticker on white: three pandas in raccoon costumes at night
Funny Coffee Mugs That Aren't Just a Pun on a Blank
Most novelty mugs are half a mug — one image on the front, blank at the back. Here is the difference that makes, and what to look for instead. Read more...
Leaf-by-Leaf Interview long sleeve: a panda in a koala disguise holding onto a eucalyptus tree
Opossum Gifts for the Person Who Is Extremely Tired
Opossum people are a real and underserved constituency. What to buy, what not to, and the koala half of the same joke. Read more...
Man wearing the Waterline Witness tee, a panda in capybara waders in a sunset pond
Flamingo Gifts That Aren't Pink Plastic
The flamingo has been flattened into a colour. Here is how to buy for someone who actually likes the bird. Read more...
Ice Class: Penguin tee: a panda in a tailcoat, bow tie and snow boots among emperor penguins
Penguin Gifts for Someone Who Is Genuinely Obsessed With Penguins
Penguin people are easy to spot and hard to buy for, and those two facts are related. What to avoid, and the panda-among-emperors tee that says something specific instead of... Read more...
Migration Is a Long Way to Wear Wings crewneck: a panda wearing monarch butterfly wings in a woodland at dusk
Gifts for People Who Are Always Cold
Every group has one person who is cold in rooms nobody else finds cold. It is the most giftable trait there is, and almost nobody uses it. Read more...
The Night Tourist panda sticker on a laptop on a wooden desk
Gifts for Coworkers You Barely Know
The coworker gift has a narrow target: warm enough to be thoughtful, neutral enough not to be strange. Here is how to hit it. Read more...
Woman wearing the Leaf-by-Leaf Interview long sleeve, a panda in a koala disguise in a eucalyptus tree
Why Do Koalas Sleep 22 Hours a Day?
Koalas sleep up to 22 hours a day, and the popular explanation — that eucalyptus gets them high — is wrong. The real answer is more interesting and slightly bleaker. Read more...
Folded for Field Use tee: a panda in a leaf cloak holding a route map on an acacia ridge at sunset
Gifts for People Who Are Impossible to Buy For
The person who is hard to buy for is usually not picky. They are just already supplied. Here is the category that still works, and how to pick within it. Read more...
The Night Tourist panda sticker on a black skateboard
White Elephant Gifts Under $25 That Actually Get Stolen
White elephant has one scoring system: how many times a gift gets stolen. Here is what makes that happen, and the under-$25 bundle that does it. Read more...
The Night Tourist panda sticker on an electric guitar
Stocking Stuffers for Adults That Aren't Just Filler
Small Christmas gifts for adults that get used instead of quietly binned in January. Everything under $20. Read more...
The Night Tourist vinyl sticker, three pandas in raccoon costumes under a streetlight
Weird Office Wall Art That Makes People Stop and Look
Wall art for offices and home offices that rewards a second look — why the two usual genres fail, and how to choose and size a print that does not. Read more...
Woman wearing The Night Tourist tee, three pandas in raccoon costumes on a night city street
Gifts for Night Shift Workers That Get the 3AM Life
Gift ideas for the people whose day starts when everyone else's ends — nurses, bakers, security, warehouse, and anyone whose best ideas arrive after midnight. Read more...
The Night Tourist die-cut vinyl sticker: three pandas in raccoon costumes in a city alley at night
Secret Santa Gifts Under $20 That People Actually Keep
Most Secret Santa gifts are thrown away by February. Here is how to buy one that isn't, for under $20. Read more...
Ice Class: Penguin tee in a flat lay, a panda in a tailcoat among emperor penguins
Funny Christmas Gifts for Animal Lovers
The animal lover in your life already owns the obvious stuff. How to buy something that names something specific about them instead — penguin, koala, capybara, axolotl or raccoon. Read more...
Frostline Red-Panda Scout hoodie: a panda in a red-panda hood on a snowy mountain trail under a full moon
How Do Mountain Goats Climb Sheer Cliffs?
Split hooves that work like climbing shoes, a body built to pull rather than push — and the animal isn't actually a goat. Plus the octopus that would beat it... Read more...
Ice Class: Penguin tee folded, showing a tuxedoed panda among emperor penguins on the ice
Do Camels Store Water in Their Humps? No — Here's What's Actually In There
The hump is fat, not water. The actual water trick is in the blood cells, the body temperature, and a willingness to drink thirty gallons in one go. Read more...
The Night Tourist panda sticker on a skateboard deck
Funny Gifts for Someone Who Is Absolutely Feral (A Gift Guide)
A gift guide for the chaos-goblins and the zen ones alike — a panda in a raccoon costume for one, a panda in capybara waders for the other. Read more...
Meerkat, by Appointment long sleeve: a panda in a meerkat costume standing lookout in the desert at sunset
Why Do Fennec Foxes Have Such Big Ears?
Six-inch ears on a three-pound animal. They're a radiator and a listening dish at the same time — and the arctic fox solved the same problem by going in exactly... Read more...
Canopy Clearance tee: a panda in a sloth suit hanging from a branch above a misty rainforest
Do Opossums Actually Play Dead? (And the Tick Myth, Debunked)
They're not pretending. It's an involuntary collapse they can't switch off, complete with a smell. Also: the thing everyone repeats about opossums eating 5,000 ticks is wrong. Read more...
Waterline Witness tee: a panda in a capybara hat and waders, chest-deep in a sunset wetland
Why Do Flamingos Stand on One Leg?
Two good answers, both true, and one of them was proven using flamingo cadavers. Plus three popular explanations that don't survive contact with the evidence. Read more...
Red Is a Separate File tee: a red panda climbing through wet bamboo beside a misty waterfall
Red Panda vs Raccoon: Why Everyone Mixes Them Up
Red pandas are more closely related to raccoons than to giant pandas. They also got the name 'panda' first. The taxonomy here is a mess and it is not your... Read more...
The Night Tourist tee folded, showing three pandas in raccoon costumes out after dark
Why Are Raccoons Called Trash Pandas?
The nickname is barely ten years old, it probably came from Canada, and it went global because of a dead raccoon in Toronto. Here's the actual paper trail. Read more...
Man wearing the Meerkat, by Appointment long sleeve, a panda on sunset lookout duty in a meerkat costume
Fox Lover Gifts: Arctic Fox and Fennec Fox Ideas
Arctic fox and fennec fox gifts for the person who has strong feelings about ears — what most fox gifts get wrong, and the closest things on the tour for... Read more...
Frostline Red-Panda Scout hoodie folded, showing the snowy mountain panda chest print
Funny Gift Ideas for Rock Climbers and Scuba Divers
Climbing and diving gifts that are not another carabiner keychain: buy for the psychology, not the gear. A snowy-pass hoodie, a wetland tee and a gear-bag sticker, from $8. Read more...
The Night Tourist tee: three pandas in raccoon costumes on a city street at night
Gifts for Raccoon Lovers: 12 Ideas Beyond Another Novelty Mug
Gifts for the person who has adopted a raccoon as a personality: the chaos type, the calm type, and what actually works for each, from an $8 sticker to a... Read more...